


SoulHATE

by wandering_ravens



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: Diva Ruki, Eventual Romance, Hate to Love, I'm trying to go for slow-burn, Kleptomania, M/M, Robbery, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2020-03-29 17:52:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandering_ravens/pseuds/wandering_ravens
Summary: What would you do if your designated soulmate just happened to be someone that you absolutely despise and can't stand? And when your name is Ruki, and you just won't take crap from anybody.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, boy! Here we go. Me trying to challenge myself with a storyline/theme that I've always wanted to try writing, but never thought I could write well.
> 
> We'll see how this goes!
> 
> Please excuse the terrible title, and proceed to kick me like a football  
> ...  
> Politely, of course

Ruki silently watched as the raindrops fell like feathers onto his bedroom window. His gleaming eye noticed a particular one, on the left side. It was traveling down the glass much slower than the others. Like a snail caught in a race with rabbits. He smiled, gently, because for some reason, it reminded him of the importance of taking it slow. This world was always so rushed-- morning coffee before work, trying to catch the shinkasen before it sped off. Did anyone ever stop and think for a second? Feel for a second? See for a second? Smell, hear? This rain held so much beauty. Even just the gentle sound of it echoed through his ears, and it felt like a mother's loving embrace. He wondered if he was the only one taking the time to really appreciate its value. He liked how the combination of the moonlight and rain created a beautiful, blue-hued droplet pattern on his skin. 

Life was beautiful, it truly was. However, something deep inside of Ruki refused to stop lingering. Swirling in his heart like a never-ending hurricane; slithering like a snake that bared its fangs. _Loneliness._

Why did it feel like he was the only one of his age who hadn't found his soulmate yet? Even the raindrops had each other. Even the moon was accompanied by bright, shining stars. Ruki did have a few friends, which he was thankful for. Their warm laughter and smiles could make the frigid emotional pain in his heart temporarily melt away. But he also still lacked…the identical twin of his favourite hoodie. An incredibly soft, cotton striped purple hoodie that was supposedly given to both him and his soulmate at birth. Whoever that may be. It is the only two hoodies of its kind, for they had been both stitched with a unique symbol on the front. It looked like a white equilateral triangle with a white rose on it. White rose petals surrounded this symmetrical triangle. Everyone was given some kind of unique item like this at birth, which only their designated soulmate also owned. It could be a hat, a bracelet, or even a stuffed animal. Anything, really. 

Ruki’s now saddened gaze trailed down to the drawer in which the striped hoodie resided. He sighed. Hopeless-- he felt like the beautiful world was now against him. He reached up and closed the blinds of his window, feeling somewhat betrayed now. Curse, his tendency to think much too deeply about things like this! He was having a good time mindfully watching the rain, and then his brain just had to wander off into the darkness like a confused hooligan. Even though nobody has ever dove that deep before, Ruki’s mind always said, _'I want to dive to the very bottom of the marianas trench!'_ Perhaps it was possible, with the amount of horrible thinking he always did when he was alone. The only means of escaping his now depressed state was to sleep. Feeling utterly exhausted now, Ruki’s head hit his pillow, and he slowly but surely fell into a light slumber. 

-

 

Ruki bolted awake to what sounded like something violently crashing onto the floor. His heart raced; he placed his hand on his chest to try to calm it down. He was unsuccessful. Adrenaline did not cease to rush through his body when he scarily realized that there was nobody here but himself. He had no pets, his roommate had left months ago, he was the only one who lived in this small house. Fuck! Then what made that sound? A ghost? No, Ruki didn't believe in ghosts. Damnit!

Should he check? No, no. _No_. Maybe he was just hearing things. He should just go back to sleep and pretend nothing happened. Yup. This was all just a misunderstanding, right? Right! Totally right! Yup. Time to go back to sleep and- 

Ruki heard it. Something gently humming an unrecognizable tune. Something unmistakably human. And it was becoming louder and louder, coming closer and closer to him. He put his hand over his mouth to muffle his quickening breath, unable to move, frozen in place like a block of ice. Impending doom felt so heavy in the air, it could crush him. This must be the end. 

 

The turning of his bedroom door's handle, and the creaking of his door hinges assaulted Ruki’s ears. It was absolutely dark, you couldn't see a single thing. Ruki did his best to stay as silent as possible. Calm down, pretend to cease existing. As quiet as a-

"You really think I can't hear you breathe?" 

 

Before his mind could process anything, something struck him in the back of his head. Immense pain was briefly felt, before everything suddenly went blank.

 

-

The next morning, Ruki groaned awake to not only incredible pain in the back of his head, but also to a much emptier home. Whoever was here last night, they stole a bunch of his stuff. It absolutely broke his heart. All of his precious jewellery, the coins he spent his entire life collecting, various gifts from friends and family. It was as if this robber knew exactly what he held most dearly to his heart. Everything he cherished was gone. Not only that, but Ruki also found out that the loud crashing sound was a result of one of his picture frames shattering. It was a frame given to him by his older brother for one of his birthdays. In the picture was the both of them as kids, laughing in a ramen shop. His brother had made a mustache with one of his ramen noodles, and they both couldn't stop laughing about such a silly thing. Their mother thought it was the best time to take a photo-- when they were in such a happy, silly state. His beloved sibling was gone, now. Taken away by the very unexpected, horrible explosion of his appendix. This frame was as irreplaceable as a golden apple. 

 

Absolutely nothing could compare to the emotional pain Ruki was feeling right now. Not even the loneliness could surpass this. After inspecting all of the damage done from the robbery, Ruki sank down to his knees, and cried. He cried until he could barely breathe. Cried until his eyes hurt. Cried until he was completely exhausted. How could he ever think for a second that the world had beauty to it? Humans were so disgusting. Any beauty that this planet had was taken away the moment that humans had stepped foot on it. Whoever this robber was, he wished that karma would fucking murder him. The blade of karma was an incredibly sharp one, Ruki hoped. Goddamnit, and even if Ruki tried to do something himself, such as calling the cops, he didn't know what this robber even looked like. He didn't know anything about them at all. 

Fuck all. Fuck everything. Right now, everything in his body and mind hurt like a bitch. This place really was against him. 

 

\--

After hours of doing nothing but sluggishly mope around his home, Ruki heard his phone ping. Good, at least he still had a cell phone… 

It took him a lot of strength and will to get up and take his phone off of the dining table. It was as if his lingering emotions had reduced his body to becoming a ragdoll. But eventually, he got to his phone, and unlocked the screen to see a new Facebook message. 

 

_ AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Hey, man! What's up? :)  _

 

Some part of Ruki couldn't help but smile, as he was immediately reminded of the sheer amount of love he had towards his best friend of over five years, Aoi. 

 

_ ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : Oh god, you messaged me at the right time. I'm such a fucking mess right now... _

 

_ AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : What?! What happened?? Hold on, let me call you.  _

 

Before he could even finish reading Aoi’s last message, Ruki’s phone started to ring. He swiped the screen as soon as he saw that it was Aoi. His heart immediately felt warm, because god damn, he loved that man.

He effortlessly spilled everything to Aoi, venting and ranting like a child with a bad temper. He told him all the details of the robbery, from the crashing sound, to the male voice, to himself blacking out. Told him everything that was stolen from him, and how his most cherished frame broke.

“Jesus, that’s awful, Ruki! It’s as if the world decided to just kick your ass to Hell! For no good reason!”

“It really is. I don’t know what I can do about it. And on top of that robbery shit, I still haven’t found my soulmate. It’s a fucking _purple hoodie_ , for crying out loud! Everything sucks, and I feel like such a damn loser!”

“Ah, don’t you worry about that part! I’m sure you’ll find them soon, Ruki! And even though your stuff was stolen, at least you’ve still got your friends, hm? You know I’ll always be there for you, bro.”

Hmph. Easy for him to say. He had a wife, and she happened to be his designated soulmate. Not being jealous of Aoi was not the easiest task. It felt like Ruki was always the last one to finish in a big marathon. But Aoi was right. Stuff was stuff, but friends were completely priceless, and he felt lucky to have any at all.

There was a bit of silence on the line. Ruki bit his lip nervously, wondering if he may have said too much during his vent. But his nerves were soon eased when he realized that Aoi had just been thinking. 

“You know what? I think I know exactly what could cheer you up.”

Ruki felt the life slowly come back to his body. “What is it?”

“A friend of my friend is hosting a party at their place tomorrow night. I was planning on going. Why don’t you join me? Lots of alcohol, and probably some pot, too. It’ll be just like our younger days! Don’t you just miss those?”

Ruki paused. He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a bit anxious.

“I’m not sure, Aoi. I haven’t been to one of those in a long time…” 

Ruki heard laughter on the other side of the phone’s speaker.

“Oh, hell no! You can’t tell me that  _ the _ diva Ruki is feeling insecure! Bro, you’re such a legend at parties! They didn’t call you diva for no reason.” 

Although Ruki didn’t want to admit it right now, it was kind of true. He had some pretty sweet dance moves, and he always used to walk around like he owned the place. Nobody could talk down to him; he simply wouldn’t have it. Plus, he always dressed in such sparkly, glittery, extravagant outfits. Honestly, whatever happened to him over the years? He felt like he’d become such a damn loser. Was he as boring as watching paint dry now? Did he still have this diva side somewhere inside his soul?

Only one way to find out. Go to this damn party. And actually, if he was being totally honest with himself, he really needed this. To let loose again and have fun, especially after such a rough time. Aoi seemed to know him better than himself. 

“Alright, I’ll go. But don’t get too drunk, okay? Drunk Aoi is not an Aoi anyone likes to see.”

“Hahah, you know I can’t promise you anything like that, Ruki!”

"Bye, bitch"

"Bye-bye, bitchier bitch. Love ya!"

With that, the call ended. And Ruki collapsed onto his comfortable couch. It was so soft, he just sunk into it, almost like a foam mattress bed. He’d allow himself to be lazy like this. Especially when he was so damn exhausted. Hopefully he’d have enough energy to go into party mode tomorrow. He was kind of looking forward to reliving the old days. Goddamn, now he sounded old. Really, he was in his late twenties, nearing very close to his thirties...not _that_ old...right? 

 

\--

 

Loud EDM music boomed throughout the large home. It almost made the bones in one's body vibrate, like some sort of chorded instrument. Crowds of people littered the entire area, and not one of them appeared to be sober. Some were moving their bodies to the music’s rhythms, looking either majorly sexy or completely idiotic. Others were scattered about the place, simply chatting with drinks in their hands. There were even some people on the couches, looking incredibly passed out from what Ruki could only guess was a heavy indica strain of marijuana. Oh, and it sure as hell smelled like pot in here, too. It was a nostalgic smell that Ruki’s nostrils never did welcome nor appreciate very much. 

 

At least Ruki looked hot. He looked so spicy, nobody would dare try to get a taste him, no matter how badly they wanted him. Earlier, he had dug up one of his old outfits, and decided to wear it for the occasion. A low-cut black top, decorated with a sparkly red jacket. Tight red pants that made his ass look so damn good. Red painted lips that could sin worse than the devil. He felt like a younger version of himself, and to be honest, he couldn't be happier about that. He hadn't felt this much like himself in forever, it seemed. And for once, anxiety wasn't mercilessly murdering him in cold blood.

 

Pushing through the large crowd of people, Ruki looked for his best friend, Aoi. It didn't take too long to spot the tall man. Currently, he was talking to another man with blonde, spiky hair in the kitchen. He was also nursing a glass of what looked like a sangria. His hair was slicker than ever, and his dark eyes stood out like polished diamonds, thanks to thick eyeliner. If it weren't for the soulmate ring on his finger, Ruki was sure that Aoi would have been snatched up by a random single girl already. 

 

As Ruki approached the two men, Aoi locked eyes with him, and immediately smiled from ear to ear. 

"Hey! Ruki!" he waved. 

The blonde stranger's eyes scanned him over as Ruki finally joined the small group, yet his expression remained weirdly neutral.. 

"Reita, this is my best friend, Ruki. Ruki, this is Reita. He's the friend of a friend who hosted this sweet party!" 

"Fuck you, my party isn't sweet. It's filthy. Just the way I fucking like it!" Reita butted in, smirking smugly like he owned the place. Oh, wait. He did. 

The blonde looked at Ruki with almost piercing, narrow eyes, "I'd say nice to meet you, but I'm not some fancy, uptight cunt. I hope you aren't, either." He held up his Margarita glass, winking and smirking, "Cheers, short one!" 

Boy, Ruki didn't like this guy already. Though he had an undoubtedly handsome face, he also seemed like such a narcissistic dick. The _worst_ of all the trash in the bin. 

“Oh, yeah! Look at the rack on that one! I’d hit that!” Reita randomly exclaimed with the most irritating voice, as his attention turned to a girl passing by. This only further broke Ruki’s fragile demeanor. 

And Ruki didn’t like trash. No, hell no. In fact, he couldn’t deal with it at all. It made his blood boil. This man and his ugly vibes made his blood _ boil _ . A fire so scorching hot, that it changed from orange to blue almost instantly! 

_ Diva mode: On.  _

Ruki smacked Reita’s shoulder, “Listen up, you dumb shit!” 

Reita’s smile from the earlier _‘hot chick’_ very quickly faded as he turned his attention towards an angry, small Ruki. 

“I’ve only been talking to you for a mere five seconds, and you’re already melting my brain cells! And _what_ are you even wearing?” Ruki scanned Reita’s outfit, which was nothing but a muscle tank with some low sweatpants. It made Ruki scoff as he couldn’t help but say, “You look like some fuckboy trash who thinks they’re cool as shit, but really, they don’t even know how to write their own name! And who lives in a pigsty of a room, wallowing in their own damn shallow self-pity because they don’t even know how to live sober anymore!” After his rage, Ruki flipped his hair, put his hands on his hips, and stormed away as fast as ever. Leaving Reita completely agape. Because nobody had ever even dared talk to him that way before. _Ever._ This guy was something special. He could only silently chuckle, as he watched the diva sway his hips in his walk away from him.

Aoi had to hold back laughter. After having taken another sip of his drink, it was best not to spit it all out like a fool. “I knew he still had it in him!” He then gleefully exclaimed, like a proud parent.

 

Ruki surprised himself. Maybe it was the sparkly clothes, maybe he still needed to vent out his emotions from yesterday, or maybe it was simply the supreme idiocy that some people seemed to hold. Bu _ t my god _ , did he ever slay that dumbass. And it felt so, damn good. He was still clenching his fists, though-- his nails were digging into his skin. He better cool down somewhere alone before he punted some poor, unsuspecting younger kid. 

Alas, he did find a bedroom upstairs. Two people were making out in there, but not for long. 

“Get out, and go fuck somewhere else!” 

Although he really hadn’t said much at all, Ruki must have been just oozing menacing vibes. The moment he opened his mouth, the two lovers were running right out of the room, leaving it vacant.

 

Perfect. He shut the door behind him, sat on the bed, and took a few deep breaths. This party was a drag. Granted, it probably wasn’t, but Ruki’s head was obviously somewhere else. He just couldn’t seem to enjoy himself. Too many things were bugging him. The theft, the loneliness, and that Reita guy who just rubbed him the wrong way. Such a man shouldn’t be worth his time at all. But for some reason, he couldn’t stop _thinking_ about him. That irritating voice, those irritating clothes, the egotistic energy that was bigger than the Sun itself. 

Ruki looked around the area. Was this the guy’s bedroom? Sure could be. There was a poster of some half-naked anime chick, a huge bass guitar, and…

Oh, _hell_ no!

Was that...

Ruki’s coin collection on top of the drawer?

And Ruki’s vase on that corner table?? And Ruki’s gold jewelry hanging on the wall??? And Ruki’s favourite beanie, and Ruki’s vinyl records, and Ruki’s favourite surreal painting????

 

No _fucking_ way. This Reita guy had to be the robber who broke into his damn house last night! He had to explore some more, see what else he might of stolen…

Ruki couldn’t help but look in the man’s closet. Only to find the most shocking thing of all. 

 

A...

_purple_ ….

_striped_ ...

_ Hoodie! _

With the same exact, white rose triangle pattern stitched onto the front. An entirely _identical_ twin to his own soulmate hoodie.

 

A heavy feeling settled in Ruki’s stomach, making him feel like he was about to vomit. He was shaking a little, struggling to keep his breathing regular. He felt a bit disoriented and dizzy, despite not having drank at all. His mouth and eye twitched, and he let out a quick bark of laughter. 

 

This asshole Reita guy was _not only_ his thief, but also his...soulmate. He couldn’t believe it. No, he wouldn’t believe it! There was no way this could be-- not right now-- not ever!

 

At that moment, the world seemed like a much darker place. Everything started going black and fuzzy, like pixels dying on a screen. It didn't take very long before Ruki fainted, collapsing onto the carpeted flooring.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAH!  
> I CAN'T EVEN.
> 
> Ruki, things just love to kick your ass


	2. Chapter 2

Ruki had only fainted at that party for a mere five seconds. And already, upon waking, he was angry as a bull, ready to charge at anything. How could the world do this to him? How could it bring him the worst, most ignorant guy ever, and tell them to get together?? Ruki really wasn't having it. Hell to the no! But he wasn't an idiot either, and some smarter part of him knew that he absolutely had to at least try to talk to Reita about all of this. That is, if he could handle feeling as if he was trying to throw a basketball into a sealed hoop the entire time. Because that's probably what talking to Reita felt like. Utter despair, frustration, and futility. 

 

It wasn't any longer before Ruki stormed downstairs, tightening his fists into a ball. As soon as he spotted Reita, whom was starting some stupid game of beer pong, he marched on over, and grabbed Reita by his strong arm. The man was obviously already somewhat drunk, and so was his peers. Nobody seemed to actually care about the fact that Reita was being dragged out of the game, letting out simple giggles or simply ignoring them. Reita, on the other hand, was completely weak. Easy to yank away, and stupid. Easy to control, like some puppet. 

"Where are you taking me, man?" he almost slurred.

Ruki didn't have the energy or the patience to reply. But soon enough, they entered Reita’s bedroom, and closed the doors behind them. 

 

_First of all…_ "You see this?" Ruki immediately spat out, swooping a bag of coins from one of the drawers, and holding it up roughly for dumb Reita to see. "Know what it is?" his teeth were clenched; it was really difficult to keep his cool. 

It took a second for the blonde drunkard to register what was in front of him. But eventually, he managed to form a reply, "Yeah!" he was laughing now. _What a jerk._ "I stole it from some dumbass! Didn't know what hit him!" 

Seeing all the random trinkets that were cluttered about the place, Ruki could only guess that this guy was a kleptomaniac. And that only spurred on his anger even more. The fact that he purposely hurt others like this, too. 

Ruki approached Reita. He stomped up and grabbed his spiky hair, forcefully pulling his head down until Reita’s face was only a few inches away from Ruki’s. "Well that _'dumbass'_ you speak of was me!" 

Reita only blinked stupidly at this news. His face was turning pink, but it was hard to tell if it was from his drunkenness, or something else entirely. 

The careless silence from the thief really pushed Ruki’s buttons. "Not gonna say anything, huh? Not even an apology?!"

Reita pushed the smaller man away, letting out a big sigh of relief when they broke apart, as if Ruki had been suffocating him by being so close. 

And then, after a few seconds, he regained his usual composure, and said it. With that big, smug smirk on his face again. "Why should I be sorry? It's not my fault you forgot to lock the door." 

Reita heard the slap on his face before he could even register it. 

"Asshole!" Ruki exclaimed, turning away from Reita and crossing his arms. "Goddammit! Why does my _soulmate_ have to be such a goddamn motherfucking asshole, who lives so lowly, not even the Devil wants him!" He said that more to himself than anyone else, but it made Reita’s ears perk up. 

" _What_ did you just say?" The thief's voice sounded threatened, yet still remained strong, with a hint of anger. 

Ruki walked over to the closet, picked up the purple striped hoodie from the ground, and turned back around. "This…I don't want it! But I have it! The same exact fucking hoodie as you." He chucked it at Reita. It lightly hit his chest before falling back down to the ground. 

"You're a liar!" Reita didn't believe the shorter one. Why should he believe anything that came out of this guy's mouth? Especially after he tried so hard to take down his ego. Nobody was allowed to do that. 

"How can I be lying if it's even on my phone?" Ruki had taken out his cell phone, and brought up a photo of himself wearing the same, exact hoodie. Holding it up with the brightness maxed out, for Reita’s eyes to inevitably see. "We're fucking soulmates, asshole!" He had to say it out loud, although he really didn't want to. The words sounded like poison, as if it would kill him. 

For a second, Ruki thought that he could see Reita’s smug demeanor break completely. His smirk fell into a frown, and his eyes widened slightly. For once, he looked vulnerable. Scared. As if he was trapped in a corner, with absolutely no way out. He was literally beginning to tremble a bit, and he mumbled, with a shaky voice, " _Get out._ "

Ruki could barely hear the words through the quiet mumbling. "What did you just say?" 

Reita stopped shaking. Instead, he now stood tall, and sent Ruki a stone-cold death stare. It actually sent chills down the smaller man's spine. "I said, get out! Get out of my fucking house! You're such a party-killer! No fun at all! A lame loser!" Reita huffed, "No one likes a fucking nerd like you!" 

Once again, Ruki didn't have it. The sassy diva within him just couldn't leave without having the last goddamn word. 

"If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb all the way up to your ego, and then jump all the way down to your IQ.” After he said this, Ruki snapped his fingers, flipped his hair, and left the house. As he walked away, he couldn’t help stealing everyone’s attention and glances, because, well...he was super glittery like a disco ball, hot like a pancake, and angry like a bull. A diva at its finest. Reita stood dumbfounded in his bedroom, wondering what the hell kind of shit he somehow just got himself into. 

 

*** * ***

 

Ruki was back home, enjoying a cup of hot chamomile tea, when he heard his phone ping. 

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Hey, where did you go? I’ve been looking for you, but I don’t see you at all at this kickass party!

 

ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : I left and went home. But not without telling someone off, of course! You were right, I still have some diva in me. 

 

It took a while for Aoi to respond. He was probably up to no good at that party. But that gave Ruki just enough time to think about his situation, and fully enjoy the warming aroma steaming up from his teacup. Honestly, who did that Reita guy think he is? He seemed to have such a big ego. Way too big for that small brain of his. Who was he, actually, though? Ruki took another thoughtful sip of chamomile, and it seemed to clear his mind even more. This made it easier for him to realize that perhaps Reita wasn’t so high and almighty after all. He remembered the moment where the man’s entire demeanor shattered. Ruki saw a glimpse of a person who looked like they were suffering. Like their life was constantly trying to strangle them with barbed wire.

...Or maybe this tea was just getting to his head. That sudden ego drop couldn’t have really meant anything, right? Maybe Ruki was just imagining things. But deep down, he wished that it was true. Because he truly didn’t want to be stuck with such an ignorant asshole. Nevertheless, Ruki was still angry. And bitter. Because Reita truly was mean-spirited. 

 

_ Ping.  _

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : No way! Who did you tell off??

 

And finally, Aoi answers!

 

ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : Reita. He was being such a jerk towards me! But, uh...I have something to tell you about him. I’m not sure if you’ll believe me, though. 

 

Who was he to keep his best friend out of the loop? Ruki had found his soulmate, and as much as he hated his match, it had definitely been a big dream of his. Even though that dream was pretty much thrown into the mud as soon as he saw who it was. 

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Of course I’ll believe you! You’re my bro. What is it?

 

Ruki took a deep breath of reassurance. Here it goes. By telling Aoi, he’d be basically admitting and anchoring the truth to himself, and to his life. 

 

ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : Reita...he’s my soulmate. I found the purple hoodie in his closet. And he couldn’t have stolen it from me, because, well...I’m wearing mine right now. 

 

When he had gotten home, Ruki frantically searched his bedroom to see if his hoodie was still there. Because maybe kleptomaniac Reita had stolen it along with his other belongings. But it was still in the same spot he always left it-- under his bed, shamefully. 

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Holy fuck, dude! Reita is by far the straightest-looking guy ever! Are you sure?? 

 

The reply from Aoi was so fast, Ruki knew that he was anxious and worried by the bittersweet news. 

 

ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : Of course I’m sure! He has the hoodie, and it’s obvious that it’s his own. His reaction to seeing mine sent him into a fit!

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Jesus! We need to get you two together, then. 

 

Ruki had to read that last message twice. Aoi wasn’t actually serious, was he? There was no way in hell that Ruki wanted any part of Reita again! Especially not after such an intense fight.

 

ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : But...Aoi! I hate that guy! We just don’t get along. He ticks me the heck off! He’s such a waste of oxygen!

 

AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Ouch to that last comment, man! Anyways, this soulmate at birth stuff doesn’t lie. Trust me, I should know. I’m the one with a ring on my finger. Anyways, I can’t text you anymore right now. Some people are yelling at me to get off my phone and continue this damn Flip Cup game. I don’t even like it so far. Ugh...I’ll message you later! 

 

Damnit. Aoi left him, to deal with this shit by himself. By now, his tea was cooled off, a bit too much for his taste. Everything was cold, it seemed, despite it being a spring month. It’s as if the weather knew just how miserable things were for Ruki right now. He threw a fluffy blanket on himself, and couldn’t help but wonder how exactly Aoi was planning to get him and Reita together. And think of how much of a waste it would be to even try to get them to date in the first place. 

 

*** * ***

 

The next morning, Ruki woke up to his phone ringing very loudly. His ringtone, which was a hard deathcore song, was really not the best way to wake up. He ended up on the floor after he let out a small squeal and fell off his bed. His heart was pounding as he tried to catch his breath and his cool before swiping his screen to accept the call. 

 

Still lying on the floor, he answered, “Hello?”

 

“Ruki!!!!!!” Aoi’s explosive voice almost shattered his eardrum, especially this early in the morning. “I’ve got something to tell you!”

 

“Goddamn, Aoi! Aren’t you hungover or something??”

 

“Nah, I think I must be made of steel. Anyways! Dude! I somehow became somewhat friends with Reita last night. I don’t know how, because he honestly really is a dick. But we found some common ground, since we both enjoy playing chorded instruments, and rock music. Anyways, I’m at your front door. Let me in!”

 

The line hung up after those last words. Ruki put his phone away in his pocket in confusion. _Huh?_ Ruki was at a loss for words right now, and the pounding against his ribcage just didn’t want to stop. He definitely didn’t expect a visitor today, and his nerves were catching up to him again. Nevertheless, Aoi was his best friend. He could deal with him, right? Maybe. 

Ruki stood up, walked over the door with uncertainty, and as soon as he unlocked and opened it, Aoi came rushing in like a puppy who had waited too long for its owner to come home. He basically mauled Ruki, hugging him very tightly and forcefully. “Ruukiii!!”

Ruki almost fell over at his best friend’s eagerness. “ _What?_ ” he spat out, not sure if he should have let in such an animal into his home.

Aoi got out of the hug, but didn’t quite let go of him. He held onto his shoulder and looked him right in the eye with cheerful pride. “I got you a date. With the one and only!” 

Ruki stiffened his posture. A heavy feeling settled in his stomach, as if he had swallowed a boulder. A sudden wave of anger washed over him, as well, and he swore, “Fuck! You’re kidding me! Please tell me you’re just trying to mess with me!” He could only hope. 

Aoi’s lips curved up into a big smile, from ear to ear. “Nope! You see, I’m a genius. Before the party ended, I asked him... if him and I could hangout tonight at a restaurant/bar place! To discuss more on musical matters. And to help him get laid or whatever, you know, typical asshole guy stuff.”

Ruki raised an eyebrow, still finding it difficult to manage all of his explosive emotions. They were really threatening to spill over, he was actually shaking. “So? What does this have to do with me?"

"I'm not the one showing up. _You are!_ He won't expect it at all!"

Aoi looked like he could barely contain his excitement. He was fidgeting all over the place, and smiling very proudly. As for Ruki, though… he felt like he was going to die. He didn't think this was a good idea. No, no. To take a jerk by surprise like that would probably only end badly. And Ruki wasn't sure if he was ready to be face to face with that guy again...

"And if I don't show up?" Ruki couldn't help but inquire, biting his lip uncomfortably. 

"Then I won't talk to you for a very long time. And I'm not kidding about that. I'll give you the biggest silent treatment ever! I just want you to be happy, Ruki." 

God. Aoi really, really wanted this date to happen. And he wasn't ready to back off or give up anytime soon.

Damnit...and Ruki did truly care about Aoi’s feelings. Maybe one date with that Reita guy wouldn't be so bad? Well, actually, it would probably be worse than being a turtle that fell on its back. But at least it would probably shut Aoi up. If this date went wrong, then obviously, this soulmate at birth thing was flawed. Aoi would be wrong. Ruki could go back to simply living.

...But was that a good thing? To go back…? To those lonely, boring times… 

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,_ Ruki suddenly thought. Might as well please Aoi, and then prove him wrong. It would also give Ruki another chance to kick a bitch's ass. That was always fun. Right? Maybe...

" _Fine._ I'll show up on this dumb set-up date of yours." Ruki gave in, causing Aoi to squeal in excitement, his dark eyes almost sparkling. 

"You'll thank me later, I promise!" 

Ruki highly doubted that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohohohoh! Ahahahah!   
> O w e
> 
> ;w; Thank you for all your comments and kudos so far, by the way. It really helps me stay motivated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My knee has been injured for a week now, and I am unable to do much. So, here's a new chapter!
> 
> I  
> am  
> so  
> insecure  
> about  
> my  
> writing
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that good :(
> 
> And thank you for all your comments and kudos so far! It really helps me stay motivated. Maybe the story is better than what I think it is....I hope...

It was date night. And Ruki was rushing all over the place, because, well, he wouldn't ever get a gold star for his time management skills. He knew he shouldn't care how he looked. This Reita guy was an ass, after all. Why should he take the time to make himself look nice? And yet, Ruki was just too damn self-conscious. He often hid that physical insecurity behind a lot of jewelry and makeup. Tonight he had a dark smokey eye look with a dark, brown-ish red lipstick. Many, many gold bracelets spiraled around both of his forearms and wrists. His top was a low-cut black camisole with a comfortable dark red cardigan. Lots of golden necklaces decorated it. He was a little disappointed that his favourite pieces of jewelry were gone. He should have just forcefully grabbed them from Reita when he had the chance, but he had been too blind with anger to think straight. At least his ass looked great in these dark grey jeans. Yeah, that's a pass. 

After one last glance at his bedroom mirror, Ruki finally thought that he didn't look ugly anymore. Granted, he was never ugly, but his mind liked to play cruel tricks on him, and told him that he needed to wear makeup to look good and feel confident.

 

He left his apartment, and frantically walked all the way to the restaurant/bar at which he was supposed to meet his soulmate. The whole way there, his mind was a mess, running around endlessly like a hamster on a wheel. Mostly, thoughts about how things will go. Especially since he was uninvited, he had guessed it wouldn't start out smoothly. Some other thoughts were ways to beat up Reita if he ends up being too much of a dickwad again. When he finally approached the building, which read "Zephyr" on a blue neon sign, Ruki stopped his feet. He closed his eyes, straightened his posture, lifted his head up high. Put his hands on his hips, and let out a short sigh. His eyes opened again, but this time, they had his signature, intimidating, and confident gaze to them. Move, bitches, because diva Ruki was coming in! He liked this side to him a lot more than his less extra side, he had quickly realized. 

 

He sashayed his way past the entrance, quickly letting the hostess know that he was with someone. It really didn't take long to find Reita, seated at a dark blue booth next to a large window. His spiky, dyed blonde hair stood out like a black sheep amongst all the natural-haired people in the restaurant. The man was currently looking down at a menu, so he didn't see Ruki. The diva easily slipped into the seat on the other side of the table, subconsciously crossing his arms almost expectantly. 

Reita heard the movement across from him. "You're late," he unnecessarily spat out, before lifting his head up from the menu.

He immediately froze when he saw not Aoi, but another familiar face. One that had beat his ass verbally, more than once now. " _Ruki?!_ The fuck are you doing here?!" He bolted up from his seat. His loudness caught the attention of others in the restaurant, whom quickly threw judging glances their way. "Aoi set me up! Didn't he?!"

Wow, he was actually able to figure that out pretty fast. Gold star for Reita's pea-sized brain.

"Nice way to greet your date, Reita. Or should I just call you insolent fuckface from now on? I think that name suits you better." The venomous words slipped out of Ruki’s mouth without even thinking. He bit his lower lip. 

It took only a few seconds to notice that although his hands were tightened into fists, Reita was blushing. Very, very slightly. Ruki raised an eyebrow, questioningly, as Reita slowly sat back down into his seat. _Why did he always blush so much?_ Ruki thought he had him partially figured out. It seemed that Reita blushed every time an insult was thrown his way. It must be the raw emotion of red, hot anger.

The nose-banded man grabbed the extra menu from their table, and held it out to Ruki, without looking at him. "Take it," he quietly muttered through clenched teeth, still averting his gaze. 

Ruki was truly taken aback by the other man's quick compliance. He had expected a fight. A fist-fight, or verbal abuse, or _both_. He had so many different scenarios run through his mind on his way here, but none of them were like this. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. Nevertheless, he ripped the menu from Reita’s hand, and started to read it. He had a hard time making sense of the written words, though. They were all jumbled up. _Was that hamburger or ham chops?_ His brain wasn't working properly right now. It would be easy to blame it on the fact that the temperature in the restaurant was way too hot right now. But truly, there was some kind of weird, tight atmosphere between the two right now, and it was really pulling at Ruki’s nerves. 

Thankfully, Reita decided to finally speak up, breaking the awkward silence. "This isn't a date."

Ruki quickly looked up from his menu. "What?" 

Reita looked like he was struggling to keep himself together. He was fidgeting a little with his napkin, and his eyes frantically darted to many different areas of the restaurant, as if searching for something distant. "I don't date guys." He couldn't seem to help but add, "And if I did, I would never go for the nerds who act like you." 

The atmosphere changed to a heavier one, as the smaller man's blood began to boil. _Oh no, he didn't just insult me again!_ And it was practically the same insult as before, at the party. How uncreative and low-wit could a person possibly be?! Truly, Ruki had anger issues, especially towards people that he deemed untintelligent. This guy seemed to know exactly how to trigger him with his pure, unbridled idiocy.

"Excuse me?!" the smaller man exclaimed, perhaps more loudly than he should have for a public place, "First of all, _you're_ the one who has a problematic personality! Second of all, stop being so damn blind to the fact that we both have the same soulmate item! How can you keep denying it so much?!" 

"I stole that hoodie from someone," Reita very quickly, and way-too obviously lied, his breath picking up speed. 

" _Bullshit!_ Fate says that we're on a date, whether we like it or not! And trust me, I didn't want this either...I'd much rather someone less stupid."

Their heated argument was cut short by their waitress, who was ready to take their order. She seemed completely oblivious to the pair's quarrel. Or perhaps she was just smiling for the job, and simply minding her own business. Nevertheless, she was what most people would consider pretty. She was wearing a short, form-fitting black dress, and her long hair was tied in a high ponytail. Reita found himself automatically looking at her, trying to cool himself down. _What did guys usually look at, again?_ He couldn't think straight. He freaked out a little on the inside until it him him again.  _Right,_ the breasts. He stared at her breasts, trying to make it super obvious by scooching up closer to her. 

Ruki very quickly noticed Reita’s rude staring. He almost automatically smacked him, but surprisingly held himself together. He said his order of chicken wings through clenched teeth. It included a glass of alcohol, of course. Reita impulsively ordered the same thing, but with more alcohol. He made sure that his eyes never looked away from the waitress' chest. Until she nodded, then finally walked away. And once she was out of sight, Ruki finally smacked his date's arm, angrily. 

"The fuck was that?!" he couldn't believe Reita had the audacity to look at a girl right in front of him. His own date! _Why did he care so much about that, though?_ This was hardly a date...but he felt so rejected, embarassed, and maybe a little.. _.jealous_.

"Huh?" Reita seemed like he wasn't able to pay attention to anything anymore. Like his mind was in shambles. His eyes looked completely dazed. And…was that a hint of fear in his gaze, too? 

Of course, Ruki couldn't contain the growl that escaped his throat, which was directed at Reita's complete carelessness, "Are you trying to piss me off, you low-life?!" 

There it was again. A slight, pink tint on Reita’s cheeks. He looked like he was suffocating right now, with the way he was struggling to breathe normally. 

"I...need some fresh air," The nose-banded man abruptly said, bolting up from his booth. Before Ruki could open his mouth to reply, the taller man ran off to the exit. He didn't even throw a single glance or word towards the diva's way. 

_What was that?_ Ruki bit his lip again. He was like a ticking time bomb every time he was near Reita. His reactions were always so angry and impulsive, and after every one of them, Ruki found himself subconsciously questioning his own antics.

\----

 

Alone in the alleyway, Reita blew out a puff of smoke. Normally, a quick smoke would calm him down. This time was different, though. The hand that held his cigarette was slightly trembling. 

"God, what the fuck is wrong with me?" he whispered to himself. 

Reita....felt something. He didn't quite know what it was, but it made him weak. Ruki's _venom_ \-- those words might be malicious, but they were so damn passionate. It caused Reita to feel things he's never felt before, and he blushed like an idiot every time. Those _lips_ , too. The way he would bite his own plump, red lips after every remark. Reita was heating up just thinking about it. And the confident, intelligent aura that the diva held around him. It was driving Reita insane, in a good way. It didn't help that the air felt so tight in that building. There was so much tension, and it only grew when he would do so much as _glance_ at Ruki. Honestly, what was wrong with him?

Reita was straight. That's what he always wanted to tell himself. That's what everyone knew him to be. The straightest guy that ever lived. So, _why_ did it feel so suffocating to be around Ruki? Ever since he first laid eyes on that man, he felt like it was ten times harder to breathe normally. He had no idea what these emotions were, but he wanted them gone. Reita was the coolest guy on the block, after all. He had built such a damn good reputation over the years. His well-developped ego was his biggest, most helpful crutch in life. He could never, ever throw it away.

Someone else could attempt to throw it away, though. And ever since they met at the party, that someone was Ruki. The diva was threatening to break the insolent, egotistical, cool-guy personality that Reita worked so hard to build. The one that nobody would dare to challenge. The one that gained him so much popularity. He shook his head. He couldn't deal with that. It frightened him to even think about who he was before. When the tables were turned, and _he_ was the teenage "nerd" that everybody would step over. He could still remember being beaten by bullies, whom called him degrading names all the time. It would have followed him into adulthood if it weren't for his own change of demeanor. In this world, he always thought it was _kill or be killed_. And he knew he had to become the killer in order to save himself from any more hurt.

He had to run. He couldn't face Ruki again. It scared him too much-- the fact that he felt his comfortable, fake cocoon slowly start to break when he was around the smaller man. No one had ever even dared try to break his ego like that before. And out of all the people he knew in his life, he couldn't fight off the tension that he felt towards the diva. Ruki was _dangerous_.

Reita had to run. _Now_.

 

\--

 

It had been over fifteen minutes when Ruki realized that Reita probably wasn't going to come back from his "breather". It made him feel kind of bad. No… _really_ bad. He just couldn't control his anger when it came to Reita. There was something about that man that really rubbed him the wrong way. Especially tonight. Something was completely _off_ about him tonight. The whole time, he looked like he was struggling on the inside. Perhaps fighting something off. Like a virus. He suddenly remembered that moment at the house party, where he saw that same ounce of fear in those eyes. But tonight, more of it was present. He wondered what it was.

Was it okay for Ruki to talk to him the way he did tonight? Maybe he went a little too far.  Maybe  _he_  was the problematic personality in this messed up relationship. But then his mind went back to the house party, and he remembered how much of a dick Reita could really be. He was allowed to be this angry, right? _Right._ And he shouldn't feel bad at all that he caused his date to sprint out the door.

It wasn't very long until the waitress came back with their beverages and plates of food. Ruki wasn't really that hungry, he soon realized. Not right now, at least-- he couldn't stop thinking about Reita. His mind was nothing but Reita. Even as he took a sip of the alcohol that was served, he worried about Reita. Even when he started to feel tipsy, that man kept invading his thoughts. No matter how insolent Reita acted like sometimes, Ruki found himself totally worried about him. Why couldn't the diva have just shut his mouth and silently deal with Reita's issues? He probably would have never ran away. Was he okay?

_I need to go find that piece of shit before I worry myself to death,_ Ruki suddenly thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I STILL EXIST, YA'LL.
> 
> Just took a break from everything. I misused antidepressants by accident, and I got some pretty severe reprecussions from that. It's been 10 weeks, but my body is still f--ked to Hell. Lmao! XD  
> Please, people, neuro-medications aren't a joke. Your brain chemistry is a really, super delicate thing. I wish I had known how fragile it really was, and just how much time it can take to bounce back. 
> 
> Anyways!!! I have to really thank you guys!!! Even though I hadn't updated this fic in over 16 weeks, I still got some random kudos on it here and there. I remembered how much you guys loved it. I'm gonna do my best to bring it back! I hope it doesn't suck.
> 
> SoulHATE, here we gooo! <3 <3 <3

_AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Lmao, what did you say to Reita during the date I set up??_

The loud ping woke Ruki up from a nap that he didn’t even know was possible. Earlier, he had left the restaurant and looked everywhere for his so-called soulmate, to no avail. It made his body tired-- damn, his old man bones-- even though he was only 20 something. 

Although he did genuinely still feel a little bad about how he had treated his date, the nap was like a super charger. It charged him up back to his usual, angry, tiny, frustrated self. Or at least, that’s how Ruki seemed to feel in any situation that Reita was involved in. 

_ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : Ain’t said nothing that dirtbag didn’t deserve!_

He looked at the message with his head held up high. Although, something inside him panged a little with distress, and his thumbs couldn’t help but add, 

_ROOK-at-me ( O w o) : I mean, maybe I was a little too harsh on him....maybe._

Ruki waited impatiently for Aoi to reply. His feet started tapping to a non-existent beat. The three _typing-a-message_ dots were agonizing to watch, until the message finally popped up. And boy, did it _ever_ send Ruki flying…….out a damn window. 

_AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Lololol. Well, Reita’s here with me. He came to visit after your date, and he looked so confused and puppy-eyed, I thought he had just gotten dumped. Lolollololololol!!!!!!!_

Ruki’s heart jumped out of his ribcage, out of his skin, and right into a fucking wall. Reita was where?? At Aoi’s place?? Really?? He would have never guessed that’s where that dumbass guy was. _Maybe not-so-dumbass,_ Ruki subconciously added.  Like, didn’t Aoi and Reita only _just_ meet each other at that lame party?

_AO-that-hurts ( > o <) : Dude, I’m fuckin’ living for this juicy drama! Reita came to me in the middle of the night all like: “Oh, Aoi, I’m so confused, because I really hate that Ruki nerd, yet during the setup date I felt ttttt t tt t t t t dhfgjklkjkl_

_AO-that-hurts ( > o <) :  sjhgkfodsiuiù;alowopaw;iooALJkjdhaskjéé_

_AO-that-hurts ( > o <) :  aalkdjhiuyouil AAAAAAaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaApplePenPineappleAAAthatMemeisDeadAAAADSAUJKH;olèhk_

Ruki blinked stupidly, as his screen started to drown in chat bubbles filled with nonsensical characters. An _“sdgfhjkkl”_ here, and an _“aaaaaasakjlh”_ there....just _what_ was Aoi trying to say to him? This must be some new alien language. It really started to get on Ruki’s nerves. So much so, that Ruki closed his phone screen, and threw his phone onto his bed.   
Damn, that Aoi! A good friend most of the time, but he was _also_ immature beyond belief. 

Little did Ruki know, what was really happening behind the scene. 

 

***

 

“AAAA! Reita! What the hell?!” Aoi yelled, so loudly that he bet the neighbours next to his apartment could hear.   
Meanwhile, Reita was wrestling him on the solid floor. THe phone was still in Aoi’s hand. The physical struggle caused Aoi’s thumb to move everywhere, typing who-knows-what into the chat with Ruki.

  
“I thought I could stumble in here and trust you for some real bro advice, since you seemed like an OK guy, but obviously you’re just a lame nerd who can’t keep his mouth shut!!” Reita was just about ready to land a blow with his fist on Aoi’s side. He had the upper hand in this wrestle, after all. Yet, he decided not to. For some reason, the more rational side to him was starting to show itself more often lately. 

  
“Ok, ok! Look, I’m sorry! I didn’t think you were so sensitive about that subject!” 

  
It was true. Reita was not a sensitive guy, usually. But that stupid setup of a date was a nightmare that confused him beyond comprehension. For a moment, in that alleyway...he felt... _gay_. There, he said it. _G-A-Y._ It’s a word he used to say to people who were lame and uncool. But he never really got to know the true meaning behind that adjective. Until he had thought about Ruki’s suffocating aura, his venomous lips, and how flustered his heart felt whenever Ruki got passionately angry towards him.   
_Dang. Fuck. Nevermind!_  
Cancel whatever Reita had just thought!  
There was no way. And that means, _NO FUCKING_ way...that Reita was even associated to the word _“gay”_. What he felt after he fled the date was just his frazzled brain trying to cool down from being yelled at so much. 

While he was freaking out on the inside, Reita subconsciously released his grip on Aoi. Aoi finally got up, with shaky knees, and then dusted himself off. This broke Reita’s loud thought bubble.  
“Hey! Who said you could get up?!” He immediately found himself shouting at Aoi. 

  
“Obviously, you did, my dude.” Aoi rolled his eyes at Reita’s impulsiveness. It was as if being mean was an automatic response for that nose-banded guy. He gently rubbed the red marks on his wrists from the earlier violence. "Now, if you wanted some serious advice, I’ve got some for you. Keep in mind, I’ve got a soulmate wife. I don’t sleep around like you seem to do. And so, I’ve got _a lot_ more knowledge to share about real relationships than you ever will.” 

  
_BAM. POW. OUCH._  
Those words shot a cannon ball at Reita’s brick wall of ego, yet he refused to show his pain. He just mentally brushed it off. Aoi didn’t know him for very long, after all. Who was he to say anything about Reita at all?  
Although...he did have a point. As much as Reita hated to raise the white flag, and give up to another person’s fight, he really did need Aoi’s advice. None of his party friends seemed to share the same aura that Aoi held around him. That extremely wise, yet still kind of fun energy. Maybe Aoi wasn’t that lame, after all. 

Aoi took a seat at the small dining table in the corner of the tiny apartment, gesturing for Reita to do the same. Reita finally gave in, reluctantly sitting on the chair across from Aoi. They silently gazed at each other for one very awkward moment. It felt as if Aoi's mysterious, dark eyes were trying to pierce through the blonde's nearly indestructible bubble. It lasted much to long for comfort. Then, Aoi's mouth finally twitched. 

"So. You're kinda gay, Reita." Aoi said this as blatantly as he could, with an eerily straight face.

   
Immediately, the blonde's fists tightened. "Who says?" he tried to remain calm through his already clenched teeth. He tried not to let his guard down, but quite frankly, he was afraid. Afraid that Aoi might be right. Reita had a tendency to hide any unwanted emotions he had with anger. 

  
"I say. Because from how you acted, and from what you said. The moment you walked through that door, I knew that you were in love with my best friend. And like I said before, I know a lot more about love than you."

  
Reita’s eye twitched. He adjusted himself in his seat, yet his one leg couldn't stop fidgeting around. He wanted to call out Aoi so badly. Tell him how wrong he was. Maybe beat him up. But something about Aoi's demeanor changed, and for once in Reita’s life, he felt like _he_ was the inferior one. And so, he just silently let Aoi continue his speech.

   
"This soulmate thing isn't a lie. Although, I have to admit that your pairing is pretty damn weird. _Still._ The moment you saw Ruki, you caught the love bug!"

  
At the mention of the tiny man's name, Reita’s heart skipped a beat, "But I hate him!" Reita couldn't help but quickly yell out, without even thinking. 

  
"Not sure if you noticed your cheeks going pink when I just mentioned his name, but I sure did!" Aoi's smile hinted that he was beginning to feel pretty amused at all of this. That little bitch. 

  
Reita wanted to say something, but was completely dumbfounded by Aoi's statement. He looked down in embarrassment, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. 

  
"Now, look. I'm not saying you're completely gay. You're probably bi. So, don't take it too hard."

  
G a y. B i. To Reita, it was the same thing. He really hated both of those damn words. But he just didn't have it in him to fight Aoi anymore. He should have never befriended the damn raven-haired guitarist. Even though he was cool in Reita’s books, he apparently also had _this_ side to him. The side that could involuntarily belittle Reita so much, it made him feel like a speck of dust.   
"But…Ruki pisses me off…" he mumbled.

   
Aoi laughed, almost mockingly, "Look at you! Still fighting me, even though you know I'm not wrong. You're a real character, Reita! I can see how you two would get along." Aoi got up, walked over to the sulking Reita, and then roughly patted his back. He then leaned into Reita’s ear, a little too close for comfort. "Listen. You better not hurt my best friend any more than you already did, or I'll rip your eyes out, and kick them like a football." He backed off, walked back to seat, and then flashed Reita an innocent smile. " _Now._ Give his stuff back, go apologize, do whatever you can. But I must warn you-- his diva side came back the moment he met you. Diva Ruki ain't a joke. He's not gonna be easy. But deep down, he's a good guy that is very caring. Treat him well."

Reita had nothing to say. He just took those words, and digested them as well as he could. Aoi was _intimidating. Damn. What the fuck._ How could Reita feel so intimidated by the best _"Beer Pong"_ shot ever?? Obviously, Aoi was two-sided. Like a two-headed, fire-breathing dragon. He really dug himself into a hole, becoming friends with this guy.   
Reita just silently stood up, and put on his leather jacket. Took his motorcycle keys out. Nodded his head towards Aoi, almost robotically.   
When Aoi nodded goodbye, then turned his back around, Reita impulsively swiped the nice centerpiece candle that was on the table. He quickly hid it in his jacket, then left Aoi’s apartment. 

 _What?_ He'd been looking at it quite a lot during their serious chat. Anything even remotely nice-looking was gonna be a great addition to his pile of stolen nicknacks. 

 _O, shit._ Thinking back to what the raven-haired guitarist had said brought chills down his spine.   
_'Give his stuff back'._  
He still had Ruki’s things. As much as he didn't want to part with anything he stole, he couldn't shake Aoi’s bitterness out of his head. Plus, he kind of felt like he owed it to Ruki. 

Ruki. That little asshole. Whose sharp words were so passionate, they inevitably lit a fire in Reita’s heart. Whose hair smelled nice, like cherry. 

_Wait. What?! !!_

Reita had to get out of this cramped apartment hallway! He was starting to feel fucking weird, and think fucking weird things! 

With a frantic mind, Reita ran outside of the building as fast as he could.   
_'Give his stuff back'_  
_'I'll kick your eyes like a football"_  
Maybe after a quick, calming smoke, Reita would be able to take action. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :,) Reita, u gay panic.  
> ...  
> I love ya'll, and I wish this chapter was a longer one!!
> 
> Be careful with yourself <3 <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there ;)
> 
> I realized how much writing makes me forget about my crappy life. I'm hoping that I can gather enough motivation to be able to pop these chapters out like babies!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

It took an entire day for Reita to gather all the things he stole from Ruki, and to motivate himself to give the stuff back. It wasn’t Ruki’s stuff anymore, after all. Reita had stolen it. And when something is stolen, it sure as hell ain’t yours anymore. Or at least, that’s how Reita’s brain always worked. This world was a free for all, and only the strongest and smartest won the race. Reita always felt like he was on the top when he took things from others. _No one_ was allowed to look down on him, nor allowed to try to take him down!!

 

_ No one, except for Ruki. _

 

_DAMNIT!_ There Reita goes, thinking about Ruki again. What was so special about that guy? Other than the fact that he was his soulmate? Huh? Did he fall from the sky or something? What was so special about that guy? Why’d he make Reita’s heart feel like it was going to explode into a million fucking pieces?? Why'd he make Reita suddenly feel so damn _girlish_?!?! And it only seemed to have gotten worse after his chat with Aoi! 

 

Reita pressed his lips together, tightly, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was pounding like a drum. With a crinkled nose, he swung the bag, heavy with Ruki’s stuff, over his shoulders. He let out an exasperated sigh, and then stomped his way to his motorcycle. 

 

The ride was short, yet it was freeing. More than parties and alcohol. For some reason, riding a motorcycle always made Reita’s mind feel like it was melting away into another galaxy. He revved the engine a few times, and it was like a soothing melody for his ears. The wind on his body felt as refreshing as a glass of water on a hot summer day. No more intruding thoughts, no more dumbasses, no more anything. Just leave it to be carried out by the wind. _Into the atmosphere, into the clouds, into oblivion…_

... _Into Ruki’s shabby-looking apartment._ So easy to break into. His last memory here was stealing everything that he was going to have to give back. 

 

Reita rubbed his hands together, and then bit his lip, before finally knocking on the door that stood before him. He was so nervous. Why the fuck was he so nervous?? Reita didn’t _get_ nervous. But there was something about the short nerd that made his palms sweaty, and his heart crazy. 

As soon as the door opened, and Ruki registered Reita’s face, the door was slammed shut once again. 

 

“Go away!” He heard the tiny man shout from the other side. 

 

Reita’s heart automatically started aching, for some reason. “I have your stuff!” 

 

There was a bit of silence. And then some shuffling from within the apartment. After a painfully long while of just standing there, the front door slowly creaked open, to reveal Ruki again. He had a giant pout on his cute face. 

 

_ Cute face.  _

 

Reita couldn’t seem to help but raise his hand, and then pinch one of Ruki’s cheeks. 

“Hey! What the _fuck_ do ya think you’re doing?!” 

 

Reita immediately pulled his hand away, once he actually registered what he just did. He pulled it away frantically, as if he touched a burning hot pan instead of Ruki’s cheek. _Fuck!_ Even Reita had no idea why he just did that! Why would he touch another man’s face like that? The old him would have felt like he just touched a diseased rat. But Ruki's cheek didn't feel like a rat, it felt so soft. _What the Hell???_

 

Both of Ruki’s cheeks were flushed pink, which was odd, considering that Reita had only pinched one of them. Nevertheless, Ruki sent him the most intense death glare ever. It sent chills down his spine. But, Reita just grinned, innocently, and then held up the bag of stolen stuff. There was no way he was going to let himself lose his composure so fast. No way!

 

Ruki yanked the bag from Reita’s grip. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize how heavy it was. He ended up losing his balance, and then crashing over onto the floor, along with the bag. 

“Ow!” he exclaimed. It was a hard fall, with the weight of the bag and all.

 

_“Ruuu-kun!!_ ” An unfamiliar male voice yelled from afar. It confused Reita, and even more so when a brown-haired man that he didn’t even know emerged from the shadows of the apartment. The stranger held his hand down to Ruki. “Are you ok??” He then looked up to Reita. Immediately, their confused, narrow gazes locked. “Ru-kun, who’s the weird-looking guy at the door!!!??”   
  


Ruki groaned, took the stranger’s hand, and then got himself back up. “According to the Universe, he’s my other half. But I really think that there was a mix-up, and that our hoodies shouldn’t actually match! I don’t think I’d ever date a guy so damn idiotic!” 

 

Reita didn’t know why those words stung so much, but they did. It felt as if he just got shot by a dum dum bullet. It expanded and opened a wound so big, he had a hard time keeping himself solid. 

Ruki must have noticed Reita’s drop in composure. But instead of smiling at his pain mockingly, he bit his lip instead, as if trying to regretfully bite those words. 

 

“ _Holy soup crackers!!_ Ru-kun!!! I didn’t know you had a boyfriend!! OMG. Holy fudgecakes!! Come in, my new nose-banded friend! Come in!” The stranger, who had an unusually loud voice, violently gestured his hands for Reita to step inside the apartment. Not only was he loud, but he was energetic as hell. Where did a person like this come from? Reita only had that type of energy when he was at a party full of alcohol. But _this_ guy? This guy seemed to have it 24/7. 

“He’s not my boyfriend, Kai,” Ruki added. It was technically true, since none of the two declared their relationship as anything other than enemies yet. 

“Ohohohoh! You’re _such_ a joker, Ru-kun! You’ve sulked around your whole life, desperately looking for your soulmate with such despair, and here he finally is! What a miracle!!!!” Kai couldn’t stop smiling. Looking from Ruki, to Reita, back to Ruki, then back to Reita. He had a happy twinkle in his eye, like in some character in a Disney show. 

  
Reita tried to step inside, as was gestured by the once nameless stranger. Soon enough, though, he was stopped in his tracks by the obnoxious energy ball.

“You know what? Nevermind! Don’t come inside!” Kai grabbed Ruki’s arm, and then yanked him hard towards Reita. “You two lovebirds get to go out together today!”

 

“What!?”   
“ _What?!_ ” Both Ruki and Reita exclaimed, at the same exact time. They both glared at each other afterwards, as if it was a curse of some sort to speak together. 

 

Kai roughly pushed Ruki onto Reita, causing Reita to have to back away, unless he wanted to collide bodies with Ruki. Nevertheless, that thought spontaneously set him ablaze, in a way he really didn’t want to. He immediately shook the feeling off as if it was a disease.

 

Kai twirled around, once the both of them were outside of the apartment. He danced a little, too, and then put his hands together. “Just look at you both! You two were meant to be together! I feeeeel the loooove!! And no way am I gonna get in your way! Oh, no! Me, Kai, I won’t stop anyone from loving! Instead, I will reinforce it!” 

 

“B-But-” Ruki stammered, looking at Kai as if he just saw a ghost. It was obvious that he was begging Kai on the inside to just let him back inside the apartment.

 

“You two have fun, now!” Kai winked suspiciously, ignoring Ruki's unspoken pleas. He then closed the door on both their faces. 

....

And then the silence came. Ruki looked at his feet, avoiding any kind of eye contact with the other.

“I can’t believe he kicked me out of my own apartment…” Ruki mumbled, devastatingly. He kicked an invisible object on the hallway floor, and sighed.

 

“Um...who was that guy, if you don’t mind me asking?” Reita felt like he just stepped on a minefield, asking a question like that. And he hated himself so much for acting so unassertive. Usually, he was on top of the game all the time. But the atmosphere was so awkward now, it shrunk him into a microscopic single-cell amoeba. Plus, he just _couldn’t_ shake the intense feeling he got from being around Ruki. He didn’t want to admit it, but maybe Aoi had been right. Did he.. _.like_ Ruki?? Is this what it felt like to _like_ someone?? 

_‘The moment you saw Ruki, you caught the love bug!’_ Aoi’s voice replayed in his head. Goddamn. Reita wished he could, but he _really_ couldn’t fight his heart. If only he was a samurai...he could slash his own heart into pieces with a sharp katana, so that he would stop feeling. Feelings were for girls. Feelings weren’t for tough guys like him. Feelings got him bullied as a kid. But feelings were also powerful. This time, Reita didn’t know if he could shake them off. They were only _growing._

 

_You know what? From now on, I have to win,_ he concluded. The soulmate situation was impossible to escape at this point. Yet, because it wasn't easy to chase after the soulmate situation either, it almost became a game for Reita. And Reita was always a winner! He was always in the top ranks. Right? So he wasn’t gonna lose this game. Fuck no! Forget all the girls he’d hit on in the past, they were _way_ too easy. Plus, they made him feel nothing compared to how Ruki seems to always be able to make him feel.  

 

“It’s none of your business who Kai is!” Ruki snapped his fingers. The snapping woke Reita from his intruding thoughts, and he soon came back to reality. And the reality was that Ruki seemed like he hated his guts. 

 

_ Level 1 of the game.  _

 

Ruki put his hands on his hips, and stomped away from Reita, looking like a pissed off munchkin cat.  But it was hard to tell if he was pissed at him for just being him, or at Kai for what Kai just did. _Reita would like to think it was the latter._

“Hey! Wait up!” Reita chased him, and then chased him some more. It was like a cat and mouse. He chased him down the apartment stairs, until they both ended up on the streets of Tokyo, panting hard.

 

Guess they were technically going out, now.

  
  


***

  
  
  


Goddamnit, who did Kai think he is?! Sticking his nose into Ruki’s business like that! Going against his own will! Making him do things! Everyone was so goddamn _annoying_ lately! It really didn’t help that now, he was stuck with Reita! And man, did that guy ever have legs. Long legs that could run and catch up to him anytime. Ruki was truly stuck. Forced to face his demons. The demons inside his head that never stopped reminding him that he had met his soulmate. That he should be happy, because he truly had been lonely, and wishing for years that he could just find his soulmate.

Now, he wished he could ignore this whole situation. Shove it under the rug, and pretend like it didn’t exist. _Soulmate? Soulmate who?_   Reita really wasn’t what Ruki was expecting for a soulmate. Ruki had always been attracted to men, so the gender didn’t matter. But a thief, who was also an abrasive meathead guy?? _Heh!_ As if he wanted that! Ruki thought his soulmate would be smart, kind, and a gentleman. Reita _sure_ didn’t seem like any of that. He had a lot to prove. 

_At least he thought to bring my stuff back,_ Ruki thought. That was definitely unexpected, but it didn’t exactly cancel the act of stealing his stuff in the first place. _Still...it was...nice of him to bring it all back._ Now, Ruki could finally wear his bracelets again. The short man had an obession with covering his arms with shiny, gold bracelets. It was a part of him that never left, ever, no matter how much he grew up. 

 

“I guess we’re stuck together now. Where did you want to go?” Reita sounded so cool and collected. Meanwhile, Ruki was still feeling bouts of anger at what Kai had done. 

 

“As if I’d want to go anywhere with a brainless, careless thief like you!” _Oh, shit,_ Ruki thought. _I ran my mouth without thinking, again._ And there goes that same feeling, again! The tight feeling inside his chest that made him feel guilty. Every time he’d snap at Reita like that, some part of himself genuinely felt bad. This all started when Reita ran away from him at the restaurant. Why feel so guilty, though? Reita was a bad guy, right? Bad guys always deserved to be yelled at. Bad guys always deserved to be slapped by a _fucking_ diva! Although...Reita really hadn’t done anything to harm him ever since the robbery. Which he obviously had just apologized for, and tried to make up for. 

Ruki shamefully looked down at his feet. After letting out a sigh of defeat, he softly mumbled, “...Let’s just walk around until we find something, I guess…” _There._ That made his guilt feel a bit better. 

Especially when he saw Reita’s darkened face light up like the Sun.

“Cool!” 

_Heh._ Ruki never knew that Reita could smile like that. The smile looked so...genuine. It almost reminded him of his older brother's smile.

 

The two soulmates silently walked the streets for a bit, not talking to one another at all. Usually, silences like this were awkward or heavy. But this time, it wasn’t. This time, the atmosphere was light and airy. Was it perhaps due to the fresh breeze? Who knew. But it was nice. 

 

\---

 

They walked until they reached a more open-spaced area of the city. There, Ruki stopped his feet immediately. His eyes widened. Not just widened, but _twinkled_! They sparkled exactly like Kai’s eyes did earlier. He wanted to jump for joy. Right in front of his eyes was a huge, giant amusement park/carnival! Those were a big part of his childhood. He’d go to carnivals like these often with his older brother, and have so much fun. Eat cotton candy as if they could live off of it, ride the stupidest-looking rides, and then ride the scariest-looking ones. So much laughter. So much pleasure. So much fun.

Ruki subconsciously grabbed Reita’s hand, and roughly pulled him towards the amusement park. 

“We’re going there!! Let’s go there!!” 

Ruki didn’t think twice about the hand-holding, as he was too busy running up to the brightly-coloured, fun tents and rides to notice. But Reita? Reita was practically dying. And cursing at himself for dying. He couldn’t help it, though. He was becoming soft. He never thought he’d see the day where he’d let himself become so soft. His party friends would abandon him if they found out he'd changed like this. In fact, it already felt as if his party-hard days were coming to an end. Or at least, the corrupt parties that were filled with one night stands. He wasn't sure how to feel about such an abrupt change. Falling in love with this small man was the thing he had least expected. But man, was he ever too far gone to go back! The soulmate hoodie maybe wasn’t a lie, after all. That piece of fabric may just be much stronger than Reita _ever_ thought he could be. 

 

He wasn’t angry at it anymore, though. For some reason, he was excited. 

 

The next level of the soulmate game was about to start, and Reita’s goal was to completely crush it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reita just became a soft boi
> 
> A soft bby
> 
> But he's only soft for Ruki, awwwwwwwwww <3 <3 
> 
> Thanks again for your support! Comments and kudos are really nice, and make my day!


End file.
